On average, victims leave their abuser six to eight times. 75% of women murdered by batterers, were killed after the couple had divorced or separated. There are more than 2,000 battered women serving prison time for defending their lives against batterers. 50% of homeless women and children are fleeing domestic violence.

The above statistics show that victims do want to leave but have many legitimate reasons for staying in abusive relationships.

• Fear
  Victims and their children are at greater risk of physical harm after they leave. Batterers threaten to hunt victims down and kill them, their children or other family members. Safety is the leading reason for staying. In addition, some batterers threaten to commit suicide if the victim leaves.
  
  
• Lack of Resources
  Victims are isolated from family and friends. Often, they have no support systems or access to the outside world. Options and resources are not available. Also, many victims are financially dependent upon their batterers for shelter, food, and other necessities.
  
  
• Children
  Batterers often threaten to take the children away if victims ever try to leave them. Loosing custody of their children is not a risk many victims will take. Becoming a single parent is also a very intimidating.
  
  
• Feelings of Guilt
  Victims often blame themselves for the abuse and feel ashamed or embarrassed. Sometimes religious beliefs do not allow for divorce or separation. There are also strong feelings of guilt with regards to their children for forcing them to move, change schools, and leave their father.
  
  
• Promises of Reform
  The batterer often promises never to be violent again or to change. Because of the cycle of violence, many victims believe that the batterer will change.

It is important to understand the dynamics of domestic violence to fully understand why victims sometimes choose to stay in or return to abusive relationships.

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